When Coons
Attack!!! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


(Not from IRC but still funny as hell.  Love ya Dad..  BIG MEANIE PANTS!!)

 

 

 

Squire says:

sleepy time? at this young hour? pffffffffft call yourself a daughter of mine?

tiggy says:

Haha

tiggy says:

Oops

Squire says:

hehehehe

tiggy says:

Well I've been up for 2 hours

Squire says:

lmao, yeah yeah. don't worry, i know how it happens, first the hips go, then the will to live

tiggy says:

LOL

tiggy says:

I was up until 3

Squire says:

lol, stop out

tiggy says:

Protecting my house from a family of 4 raccoons

Squire says:

are they like vermin then?

tiggy says:

Not normally

tiggy says:

But like these ones are evil

tiggy says:

We have our cat food out on the front porch.  Noticed we've been going through a lot lately.  Last week it was actually hot for once so we had the door open.  Were sitting on the couch smoking one and saw a raccoon.

tiggy says:

Walked right up to the pan the food is in and started munching.

tiggy says:

We were 6 feet away

tiggy says:

Thought it was cute

Squire says:

ROFL

Squire says:

i held a skunk the other week!

tiggy says:

It's happened a few times now.

tiggy says:

We were fine with it until the other night

tiggy says:

LOL they smell

Squire says:

nah, they were babies, they were sooooooooo cute lol

tiggy says:

Sitting on the couch with bong in hand look out the door and there's not one raccoon

tiggy says:

But 2 adults and 3 kids

tiggy says:

ALL EATING MY CAT FOOD

Squire says:

ouch

Squire says:

we have that problem with foxes

tiggy says:

They come down at the same time every night

tiggy says:

So, me thinking I'm smart

tiggy says:

Put the cat food inside the door last night

tiggy says:

Was hot so we had it open

tiggy says:

The fuckers CAME IN THE HOUSE

Squire says:

LMFAO

Squire says:

cheeky fuckers

tiggy says:

Yuh huh

tiggy says:

They're munching away a few feet from us

tiggy says:

Both Char and I are cowering on the couch

Squire says:

get the gun out!

tiggy says:

Every time we moved they hissed and shit

tiggy says:

DUDE WE COULDN'T!

tiggy says:

Gun is in my bedroom

tiggy says:

Which is in direct path of the evil raccoon family

Squire says:

they aint gonna eat you woman!

Squire says:

make actions like an albatross or summat lol

tiggy says:

You go walking inches from 5 hungry hissing raccoons

tiggy says:

The adults are the size of oh.. a mediumish dog

Squire says:

fuck me really?

tiggy says:

My dog's shoulders are at my knees

Squire says:

hahahahahahaha

tiggy says:

These two raccoons backs were that high

tiggy says:

No fucking way I was going over there

tiggy says:

So we sat there... Pinned... Smoking bowl after bowl for an hour

tiggy says:

Fucking things wouldn't leave

Squire says:

lmfao

Squire says:

thats madness

tiggy says:

I figure they were sticking around for the free buzz

Squire says:

get them on the bong

Squire says:

mind you, they'll get the munchies then

Squire says:

probs not a good idea

tiggy says:

Fuck that shit, I don't want them in my house!

tiggy says:

One night, I didn't fill the food pan out there...

tiggy says:

Bastards tipped open my trash can

tiggy says:

Opened it (and that's tough for me it's so bitchy)

tiggy says:

And I woke up to garbage everywhere

tiggy says:

They through temper tantrums like that if there's no food out there

Squire says:

get racoon poison!

tiggy says:

Illegal to kill them

Squire says:

but if they're trespassing.............

Squire says:

i thought that was legal lol

tiggy says:

lol

tiggy says:

I so wish

tiggy says:

I called animal control

tiggy says:

No food outside

tiggy says:

No garbage outside

tiggy says:

And keep my doors and windows closed no matter how hot it is

Squire says:

hahahahahahahahaha

Squire says:

i'm sorry, i shouldn't laugh lol

Squire says:

bit its funny

tiggy says:

I did!!!

tiggy says:

I was giggling my ass off

Squire says:

hahahahahaha

tiggy says:

Fucking taken hostage by 5 raccoons

Squire says:

lmao

tiggy says:

The babies are the size of very large cats

Squire says:

oh my god, i'm gonna get some mileage out of this lol

tiggy says:

Rita, Rocky, and the Squirt Triplets

Squire says:

nice!

tiggy says:

Tonight's gonna be rough, I'm bbqing

tiggy says:

I'm gonna be looking over my shoulder the whole time

Squire says:

lmfao

Squire says:

they like duvets i hear?

tiggy says:

They like anything and everything

tiggy says:

Even tearing pizza boxes into shreds

Squire says:

they like tiggy's, they'll hunt em down from miles around!

tiggy says:

Noooooooo!

Squire says:

\o/

tiggy says:

I gotta remember to put a camera beside the couch

tiggy says:

That way when they take over again somehow tonight I can get a pic

tiggy says:

Fucking scary bastards

tiggy says:

Hissing, growling, spitting, standing on their hind legs

Squire says:

they've moved in now you know!

Squire says:

part of the family

tiggy says:

Fuck off lmao

tiggy says:

I'm afraid to say anything in #mafia about them.  I can imagine the harrassment from Izzy

tiggy says:

I think I mentioned them once and got abused

Squire says:

ooooooooooooo you really REALLY shouldn't have said that

tiggy says:

...

tiggy says:

NO ONE IS THERE

tiggy says:

THEY ARE ALL IDLE