The Atkins Poop 

 

 

 

 


May 18 08:33:09 (Gooberish)  i remember when i first went on atkins

May 18 08:33:12 (Gooberish)  i had my first atkins poop

May 18 08:33:13 *       VendettaJames bows.

May 18 08:33:14 (String)         I'm envious]

May 18 08:33:20 (Gooberish)  sucker was like... a good 16 inches long

May 18 08:33:23 (Tallien)        hahahahha

May 18 08:33:29 (Gooberish)  i never ever ever in my life, saw a poop that long

May 18 08:33:30 (Gooberish)  and in one peice

May 18 08:33:33 (Tallien)        Wow

May 18 08:33:34 (Gooberish)  atkins.. go figure

May 18 08:33:44 (Tallien)        We used to have Poop Charts on the backs of the doors in school

May 18 08:33:49 (Tallien)        We filled them in after every poop

May 18 08:33:57 (Faith)           was it a swirly?  where you had to sorta hover over the bowl and move your butt in a circle so it'd stack like a dairy queen dip cone?

May 18 08:33:57 *       tiggy didn't need to know this

May 18 08:33:57 (String)         personally, I don't poop

May 18 08:33:58 (Tallien)        With headings like 'Consistency'

May 18 08:34:15 (Tallien)        'Consistency' 'Number of Flushes' 'Odour'

May 18 08:34:31 (tiggy)           HELLO I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS

May 18 08:34:34 (Tallien)        Hahahha

May 18 08:34:35 (Gooberish)  LOL

May 18 08:34:42 (Gooberish)  actually, it clogged the toilet

May 18 08:34:44 (String)         oh dear, caps lock!

May 18 08:34:48 (Gooberish)  i wanst going to go into this, but figured i would

May 18 08:34:50 (String)         someone chucker her out

May 18 08:34:50 (String)         :P

May 18 08:34:51 (Faith)           ahhh one of the beast poops

May 18 08:34:56 (Gooberish)  i figured after that one, i better flush before i wipe

May 18 08:34:57 (Gooberish)  so i flush

May 18 08:34:59 (Faith)           where you have to beat it up so it goes quietly down

May 18 08:35:03 (Gooberish)  and i dont hear it actually going down

May 18 08:35:08 (Tallien)        ahahahha

May 18 08:35:14 (Gooberish)  so i kind of get up, being carefull not to clench the cheeks shut

May 18 08:35:20 (Tallien)        oh man.

May 18 08:35:22 (Tallien)        you people.

May 18 08:35:23 (Gooberish)  turn around in sort of a waddle fashion

May 18 08:35:25 *       tiggy twitches

May 18 08:35:28 (Faith)           those poops that cling to the side of the toilet bowl screaming "NOOOOO YOU CANT MAKE ME GO DOWN THERE!!!"

May 18 08:35:28 (Gooberish)  and sure enough, its there at the "hole"

May 18 08:35:31 (Gooberish)  BENT in half

May 18 08:35:33 (Gooberish)  stuck

May 18 08:35:35 (Tallien)        AHAHAHAHA

May 18 08:35:37 (Gooberish)  im like, wtf

May 18 08:35:42 *       Tallien is laughing at the screen again

May 18 08:35:43 (Gooberish)  so i jab at it with the plunger a few times

May 18 08:35:48 (Gooberish)  it finally broke and went away

May 18 08:35:48 (tiggy)           hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaha

May 18 08:35:57 (Tallien)        What tiggy said.

May 18 08:36:06 *       tiggy wipes the tears

May 18 08:36:06 (Tallien)        You should have taken a photo.

May 18 08:36:10 (tiggy)           Ewwww

May 18 08:36:13 (Tallien)        I have a photo of my figure of 8 poop.

May 18 08:36:19 (Tallien)        That one was special.

May 18 08:36:19 (Faith)           .......

May 18 08:36:26 (Tranqer)      Vendetta.. I AM an asshole :)

May 18 08:36:27 (tiggy)           ...

May 18 08:36:31 *       Tallien might make it his profile pic

May 18 08:36:35 (Faith)           O_o

May 18 08:36:52 *       VendettaJames hugs Tranquer, in his smelly farty fog.

May 18 08:37:10 (Tallien)        Egg farts are the worst.

May 18 08:37:14 (VendettaJames)       No shit.

May 18 08:37:18 (VendettaJames)       lmao

May 18 08:37:22 (VendettaJames)       no pun intended

May 18 08:37:23 (Faith)           NO!

May 18 08:37:28 (Faith)           the clue to the most hideous fart

May 18 08:37:31 (Faith)           2 ingredients

May 18 08:37:34 (Faith)           hard boiled eggs

May 18 08:37:35 (Faith)           and tequila

May 18 08:37:36 (Tallien)        haha

May 18 08:37:38 (Tallien)        eww!

May 18 08:37:39 (String)         lmao!

May 18 08:37:45 (tiggy)           You forgot chili

May 18 08:37:47 (Tallien)        you guys are nuts.

May 18 08:37:48 (Gooberish)  egg farts are nasty :/

May 18 08:37:55 (Gooberish)  oh and raisin bran!

May 18 08:38:00 (tiggy)           Yeah well, you are the master of farts...

May 18 08:38:06 (tiggy)           15 min...

May 18 08:38:12 (Gooberish)  braisin bran, eggs, and maybe some molly mcbutter

May 18 08:38:18 (Gooberish)  -b

May 18 08:38:18 (String)         I'll be back in 10 minutes, try and change the subject before then!

May 18 08:38:23 (Tallien)        I was running down a hill once, and I chronicly farted all the way down, it was like an engine

May 18 08:38:25 (--    String (walter_sch@modem-1889.rhino.dialup.pol.co.uk) has left #mafia

May 18 08:38:30 (Tallien)        Powering me down the hill.

May 18 08:38:31 (Gooberish)  So tiggy, next time you picture me

May 18 08:38:38 (Gooberish)  think of me sorta bent over the toilet

May 18 08:38:45 (Tallien)        Ass cheeks apart.

May 18 08:38:46 (Gooberish)  jabbing at the folded up poop with the plunger

May 18 08:38:55 (Gooberish)  being careful not to suck up the shower curtrain

May 18 08:38:59 (Tallien)        'folded up poop'

May 18 08:39:00 (Tallien)        hahaha

May 18 08:39:01 *       tiggy twitches

May 18 08:39:49 (Tallien)        Does anyone know why corn always stays in your poop? And no other vegetable?

May 18 08:39:53 *       tiggy is now very worried about Gooberish

May 18 08:40:04 (Tallien)        I always wanted to ask my biology teacher that, but didn't know quite how to phrase it.

May 18 08:40:16 (Tallien)        I wanted to ask why smoking makes me want to poop, too.

May 18 08:40:25 (Gooberish)  you want the real answer?

May 18 08:40:34 (Tallien)        Yeah.

May 18 08:41:05 (Tallien)        Or, a fake answer if it's more amusing.

May 18 08:41:20 (Gooberish)  ytou know how on a kernal, it has that hard outside yellow coating?

May 18 08:41:25 (Tallien)        Yeah...

May 18 08:41:33 (Gooberish)  its cellulose, the body cant break it down in the time it takes to pass through us

May 18 08:41:48 (Tallien)        So it takes what's inside the corn and leaves the shell?

May 18 08:41:50 (tiggy)           Gooberish, come teach my classes for me.

May 18 08:42:04 (Gooberish)  "Proper atkins poop breaking up methods"

May 18 08:42:12 (tiggy)           This week it's sexual orientation and how to deal with it in the workplace.

May 18 08:42:24 (Tallien)        Did someone say sex?

May 18 08:42:50 (Mezz)          Dear Gooberish, I have this problem.. i don't get corns in my poop.. am i abnormal?

May 18 08:42:52 (tiggy)           lol

May 18 08:42:56 (Tallien)        My balls are turning blue, dammit.

May 18 08:43:10 (tiggy)           Quit staring at Faith's nipples then

May 18 08:43:19 (Tallien)        I can't...I'm mesmerised..

May 18 08:43:24 (Faith)           fucks sake

May 18 08:43:26 (Schwarz)     woooohooooo

May 18 08:43:30 (Schwarz)     niplets on display

May 18 08:43:31 (Faith)           I just had my office overrun

May 18 08:43:32 *       Schwarz dances

May 18 08:43:38 (Faith)           because I made the mistake of walking out front

May 18 08:43:43 (Faith)           and they were OUT AGAIN

May 18 08:43:46 (Tallien)        And they all saw your nipples?

May 18 08:43:46 (tiggy)           LMAO

May 18 08:43:55 (Faith)           and the guys made the faces and asked me to cut some glass

May 18 08:43:58 (Faith)           so i go back to my office to hide

May 18 08:44:03 (Faith)           and they FOLLOWED ME BACK HERE

May 18 08:44:32 (tiggy)           Ok, having a debate in MM about whether or not size does matter.

May 18 08:44:36 (tiggy)           What do you think Brandi?

May 18 08:44:41 (Gooberish)  as far as penis?

May 18 08:44:43 (tiggy)           Size or motion or usage?

May 18 08:44:49 (tiggy)           Yes as far as penises go.

May 18 08:44:56 (Gooberish)  anyone who says size doenst matter is lying

May 18 08:45:01 (Gooberish)  how abuot i hit you with a 13 incher tiggy?

May 18 08:45:05 (Gooberish)  or a 1?

May 18 08:45:07 (tiggy)           Ummm

May 18 08:45:10 (Gooberish)  see, size does matter :)

May 18 08:45:12 (tiggy)           8-9 is good for me

May 18 08:45:19 (tiggy)           13 would have me running scared

May 18 08:45:21 *       Tallien grabs a ruler

May 18 08:45:28 (Gooberish)  8-9 would only get you assholes

May 18 08:45:32 (Gooberish)  good men dont have 8-9 inch dicks

May 18 08:45:37 (Gooberish)  thats fact :)

May 18 08:45:50 *       tiggy goes to tell Ray he's an asshole

May 18 08:45:50 (Faith)           yeah

May 18 08:45:51 (--    Bob has quit (Broken pipe)

May 18 08:45:58 (Faith)           the last 8-9incher I was with was a total prick

May 18 08:46:04 (Gooberish)  pun intended?

May 18 08:46:06 (Faith)           O_O